Yeah. The previous post was a relatively bold statement not backed up by any sort of evidence. I'm not about to preach about why I find that to be true.
All I want to say at this moment in time is that I wish people were comfortable enough in their own skin to understand why they make the choices they do, or don't. It is sad that so many people have the incapability to allow themselves to be happy because they are afraid to understand themselves.
Face it, friends, everyone sucks in their own way. Embrace it, understand it, talk about it, and change it.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The Latest Whiny Thoughts on Relationships
I don't believe any sex is compatible with any other sex.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Told Ya So
I just wanted to cite my previous post in regards to the weather being so nice that something horrible must be on the brink.
It has monsooned in Boston for four days straight.
I have paid it as little mind as possible by wearing my rainboots and splashing through every puddle in my way. The bigger the better, OF COURSE.
And I have an amazing umbrella that has yet to flip.
I'm ready for the sunshine.
It has monsooned in Boston for four days straight.
I have paid it as little mind as possible by wearing my rainboots and splashing through every puddle in my way. The bigger the better, OF COURSE.
And I have an amazing umbrella that has yet to flip.
I'm ready for the sunshine.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I Guess This Is It
Well, the worst has happened.
I have significant reason to believe I have late-onset lactose intolerance.
I will not take this sitting down, however. I will eat all of the lactaid necessary in order to continue munching on cheeses whenever I DAMN WELL PLEASE.
I feel betrayed. Lactose and I had a good thing going.
I have significant reason to believe I have late-onset lactose intolerance.
I will not take this sitting down, however. I will eat all of the lactaid necessary in order to continue munching on cheeses whenever I DAMN WELL PLEASE.
I feel betrayed. Lactose and I had a good thing going.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Public Service Announcement
If you are looking for motivation to lose weight, or get into shape, I suggest that you march yourself right over to a mall and stand naked within a 3-way mirrored dressing room.
Between the lighting and full view of your bod, if you don't feel inclined to jump off the roof of said mall, you will definitely spring for a banana instead of an Auntie Anne's pretzel, and maybe ditch your car to power walk home.
Thank you, Express, for providing me with all the motivation I needed to change these eating habits of mine.
Between the lighting and full view of your bod, if you don't feel inclined to jump off the roof of said mall, you will definitely spring for a banana instead of an Auntie Anne's pretzel, and maybe ditch your car to power walk home.
Thank you, Express, for providing me with all the motivation I needed to change these eating habits of mine.
Spring spring spring
The weather the past couple of days has been nothing short of stunning. I'm trying not to think too much about it, though, because I know that Mother Nature is just slyly dangling this 50 degree, sunny weather in front of our faces. Just when we start to slowly push our wool socks to the back of the drawer and head over to the nail salon to get our toesies painted she is going to bitch slap us with some sort of apolcalyptic blizzard.
Just wait.
As much as I long for the warmth, this little preview of my favorite season has reminded me of the reason why Summer and I have such a bittersweet relationship.
Couples.
In the past two days, every PDA-infested, nauseatingly enamored couple that has been in hybernation the past four months emerged from their resting places and paraded their undying affection right in front of me. Vomit. The hand-holding, the nuzzling, the smooches, and even the subtle little ass grabs make even the blissfully single people feel inadequate.
I believe the below picture effectively sums up my current feelings.
No emo.
Just wait.
As much as I long for the warmth, this little preview of my favorite season has reminded me of the reason why Summer and I have such a bittersweet relationship.
Couples.
In the past two days, every PDA-infested, nauseatingly enamored couple that has been in hybernation the past four months emerged from their resting places and paraded their undying affection right in front of me. Vomit. The hand-holding, the nuzzling, the smooches, and even the subtle little ass grabs make even the blissfully single people feel inadequate.
I believe the below picture effectively sums up my current feelings.
No emo.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Grievance
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
CALLING ALL ADULTS
Dear Adults,
First and foremost, I would like to express my congratulations to all of you who have made it to adulthood.
Now, I'm not one to tell people how to spend their lives, so I'm merely putting forth suggestions. Take them as you will, but all I ask is that you at least give a bit of consideration to what I have to say.
As adults we receive special privileges. These include the legal purchase and consumption of alcohol, the right to vote, and most specifically for the intentions of this post--the right to use adult bathrooms. With this right you get to use a toilet that is the correct height for adults, sometimes fancy soaps, and most importantly, privacy!
It has become increasingly clearer to me through the years that when adults reach the point that they are allowed private, adult-sized bathrooms (generally falling somewhere between the first and third grade) they are not receiving information about how to properly, and respectfully take care of them. I think that it would be best if I just put some information out there to aid people in their bathroom decision-making.
1) If you get pee on the seat, clean it up!
2) Learn how to control your urine so that it does not end up on the seat in the first place.
3) If the toilet doesn't flush on the first try--try, try again!
4) I think that it would be noble of me to suggest not writing on the walls of the stall, but I actually thoroughly enjoy reading those, so keep that up.
5) Sanitary napkins go in the trash, not the floor.
I hope that this was helpful, because I know that there is no actual course on bathroom etiquette. And please don't take this personally, because I honestly have nothing against your urine unless I'm the one that has to remove it from the toilet seat.
Best,
Jess
CALLING ALL ADULTS
Dear Adults,
First and foremost, I would like to express my congratulations to all of you who have made it to adulthood.
Now, I'm not one to tell people how to spend their lives, so I'm merely putting forth suggestions. Take them as you will, but all I ask is that you at least give a bit of consideration to what I have to say.
As adults we receive special privileges. These include the legal purchase and consumption of alcohol, the right to vote, and most specifically for the intentions of this post--the right to use adult bathrooms. With this right you get to use a toilet that is the correct height for adults, sometimes fancy soaps, and most importantly, privacy!
It has become increasingly clearer to me through the years that when adults reach the point that they are allowed private, adult-sized bathrooms (generally falling somewhere between the first and third grade) they are not receiving information about how to properly, and respectfully take care of them. I think that it would be best if I just put some information out there to aid people in their bathroom decision-making.
1) If you get pee on the seat, clean it up!
2) Learn how to control your urine so that it does not end up on the seat in the first place.
3) If the toilet doesn't flush on the first try--try, try again!
4) I think that it would be noble of me to suggest not writing on the walls of the stall, but I actually thoroughly enjoy reading those, so keep that up.
5) Sanitary napkins go in the trash, not the floor.
I hope that this was helpful, because I know that there is no actual course on bathroom etiquette. And please don't take this personally, because I honestly have nothing against your urine unless I'm the one that has to remove it from the toilet seat.
Best,
Jess
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