Grievance

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

CALLING ALL ADULTS

Dear Adults,

First and foremost, I would like to express my congratulations to all of you who have made it to adulthood.

Now, I'm not one to tell people how to spend their lives, so I'm merely putting forth suggestions. Take them as you will, but all I ask is that you at least give a bit of consideration to what I have to say.

As adults we receive special privileges. These include the legal purchase and consumption of alcohol, the right to vote, and most specifically for the intentions of this post--the right to use adult bathrooms. With this right you get to use a toilet that is the correct height for adults, sometimes fancy soaps, and most importantly, privacy!

It has become increasingly clearer to me through the years that when adults reach the point that they are allowed private, adult-sized bathrooms (generally falling somewhere between the first and third grade) they are not receiving information about how to properly, and respectfully take care of them. I think that it would be best if I just put some information out there to aid people in their bathroom decision-making.

1) If you get pee on the seat, clean it up!
2) Learn how to control your urine so that it does not end up on the seat in the first place.
3) If the toilet doesn't flush on the first try--try, try again!
4) I think that it would be noble of me to suggest not writing on the walls of the stall, but I actually thoroughly enjoy reading those, so keep that up.
5) Sanitary napkins go in the trash, not the floor.

I hope that this was helpful, because I know that there is no actual course on bathroom etiquette. And please don't take this personally, because I honestly have nothing against your urine unless I'm the one that has to remove it from the toilet seat.

Best,

Jess